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Day 29 of 90-Others are not to blame for your weight problem


Others can mean anything from situations, to people, to many health conditions people blame it on.

How many times have you heard someone (or yourself said) say something like this:
--If only my husband hadn't brought X home.
--How can I go to their house and not eat what they cooked for me. That's rude.
--I have to keep X in the house for my husband or for my kids.
(X = the foods we don't need to eat or our trigger foods)

Debbie talks about the fact that none of us have someone holding us down pouring high calorie foods in our mouth. No one is pointing a gun to our heads and making us eat. We choose to do that. We make the decisions. If we use this excuse, we are saying we are blameless in our situation, and therefore it's an excuse not to be "able" to do anything about it. So we have to eliminate this language and this excuse from our lives to be successful.

Many of us live with people who are less than supportive of our efforts. They want us to go out and eat with them, and choose places where we have a really hard time eating healthy, or they do bring stuff into the house that is hard to resist. BUT, that doesn't mean we have to eat it, does it?

As far as keeping something in the house for the husband and kids, the question to ask about those foods is: Are they really foods your children and family NEED to eat? If it's ding dongs, ho hos, chips, etc. is there a healthier alternative? If so, buy it instead.

We do not have to EXPLAIN why we aren't eating something. All we have to do is practice and be ready to say two words...NO THANKS! No explanation needed. Linda Spangle has a softer version of this, namely, No thanks, I will have some later. That gets the food pushers off your back. And "later" might mean a year from now or a decade from now. WE get to choose.

When we say "no" to food, it arouses many uncomfortable emotions. That's when we should blog our feelings, talk to a friend who understands, or do something to get that feeling out there. As Debbie says: We will not die from uncomfortable feelings. To that, I add, but we may be killing ourselves by eating too much food.

We have to stop blaming other people and things for our weight problem and take responsibility for our actions.

  Sharon VA Replied:

Taking my excuses away, huh? Dang.
I am better than I used to be, but I do still blame others sometimes for my excesses. That is what this week is about for me. Accountability and avoiding denial.

  Karen Replied:

To quote Cindy: No excuses and no denial.

  Mags Replied:

My mom has struggled with her weight as long as I can remember. She was very thin before she had 5 kids, and was always trying one thing or another -- and often taking the family along for the ride.

I still catch her blaming herself for my unhealthy habits (and those of my brother and sisters) -- and I have tried to make a point to stop her. Just as we can't blame others; I think we should make an effort to be sure others aren't blaming themselves for our choices.

I know it doesn't help my mom with her weight loss efforts to dwell on my own weight issues. -- just a thought.

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  Anonymous Replied:

I have been a blamer and am trying very hard to stop it. We lived away from our family for 10 years and we moved back 5 years ago. I never saw so much food coming into the house----every time my daughters who are thin stopped by they had some goodies with them. Of course I ate and ate till I went over that 200 mark. I was in the 180's 5 years ago. I kept telling myself it was impossible to lose wt. in this family, but that is not true. I was the one who ate more than one cookie, or donut or piece of candy.

  Shari (CE) Replied:

The new me doesn't make excuses. I have convinced myself that I am in control and I love the feeling of power (((smile)))

The opinions expressed on this forum may not represent the opinions of Please consult your physician to determine the weight, nutrition and exercise levels that are best for you.