Warning: this ended up being a heavy response, but I do have a truly happy ending!

Wow, that is almost my exact experience- my husband and I also have no living children, but I have been through complete labor and delivery three times. Surprisingly, I did not fill that emptiness with food. I was and am so fortunate to have the most wonderful people in my life who I call chosen family, and I have been blessed by children in my life in indescribably beautiful ways. Because many of my eating issues were rooted in my childhood, by the time that life happened to me as an adult, I was pretty clear that food would not help- and actually would make the situation worse. The key to my Maintenance is Faith, chosen family, and a wellness plan that is doable for life.

Such a difficult path Jeanne. {{{hugs}}}
I don't think I use food to replace love, but I do use it to avoid things.

I use food for anger revenge to get even, i will show you Not the most mature way but if I'm unattractive and undesirable then I don't have to worry about sex or being a turn on. I am a turn off and disgusting and I can't be hurt. Just beginning to realize this because of the rape of my daughter that is resurfacing the abuse from her father

You are not disgusting, do not think that!

Tyme4me
Sorry to hear that you are struggling with the issue of your daughter. That is a tragedy for her and you. We women should never be ashamed of our bodies, whether they are more or less desirable because a person doesn't know the meaning of the word "NO". Feel beautiful just because and don't let others control how you feel, or else they are in control. You are in control of your feelings not them. If I can make a suggestion you might want to join a Self Defense Class with your daughter to give you more confidence. I did and what a great feeling it is to walk somewhere at night knowing that I can kick someone's ass if they mess with me. It's still concerning however I feel better knowing I have a few tricks up my sleeve. Lots of hugs.

Good for you Jeanne! You are one strong woman and an inspiration!