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Day 8: Help me, please...
Do you ever wish you could get more support from people around you? If only the "helpers" in your life would know exactly what you wanted them to say! Unfortunately, they don't, and in fact, sometimes, they just make things worse.
With good intentions, people grab cookies out of your hand as they scold, "Should you be eating that?" Or they ignore you and don't say anything, even when you're wearing much smaller clothes or weighing 30 pounds less than you did a few months ago.
Decide what you want
To get support instead of criticism from the people you love, you may have to train them. Instead of begging, "Please help me lose weight" or "Be nicer to me," clarify exactly what you mean by those words, and then be more specific in your requests.
First, decide what type of support you truly need. Do you want words of encouragement? Silence? Help with cooking meals? Instead of being angry or frustrated because people don't do these things, let them know how they can help you.
Speak up about the challenges of leftovers or open pizza boxes. Maybe you wish family members would eat their snacks in another room instead of in front of you. If so, then tell them.
Set up agreements with your support people by saying, "It will help me if..." followed by what you want them to do. For example, you might say, "It will help me a lot if we don't have potato chips in the house right now. Would you be willing to eat them at work instead of bringing them home?"
Please don't say this...
Be sure you also let people know the things you don't want them to do or say. For example, do you enjoy being praised or having people comment on your progress? Or would you prefer they not say anything about your weight or your looks right now?
Let people know which type of comments feel good to you compared to the ones that make you feel uncomfortable. Also tell them about specific phrases that set you off. For example, maybe you don't ever want family members to ask, "Is that on your diet?" Then decide what you'd like to hear instead and let them know.
TODAY'S TASKS
In your journal, write a list of things that people are always welcome to say or do in regard to your weight-loss efforts. Examples might include offer you compliments, protect you from dessert, or clear the table after meals.
Create another list of things you don't ever want people to do such as snatch your plate away, give you lectures, or admonish, "You're not supposed to be eating that."
Read both lists to your support people including your spouse, your children, and your best friend.
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