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100 Days restart - Day 8: Help me, please...

Jenn J

Day 8: Help me, please...

Do you ever wish you could get more support from people around you? If only the "helpers" in your life would know exactly what you wanted them to say! Unfortunately, they don't, and in fact, sometimes, they just make things worse.

With good intentions, people grab cookies out of your hand as they scold, "Should you be eating that?" Or they ignore you and don't say anything, even when you're wearing much smaller clothes or weighing 30 pounds less than you did a few months ago.

Decide what you want

To get support instead of criticism from the people you love, you may have to train them. Instead of begging, "Please help me lose weight" or "Be nicer to me," clarify exactly what you mean by those words, and then be more specific in your requests.

First, decide what type of support you truly need. Do you want words of encouragement? Silence? Help with cooking meals? Instead of being angry or frustrated because people don't do these things, let them know how they can help you.

Speak up about the challenges of leftovers or open pizza boxes. Maybe you wish family members would eat their snacks in another room instead of in front of you. If so, then tell them.

Set up agreements with your support people by saying, "It will help me if..." followed by what you want them to do. For example, you might say, "It will help me a lot if we don't have potato chips in the house right now. Would you be willing to eat them at work instead of bringing them home?"

Please don't say this...

Be sure you also let people know the things you don't want them to do or say. For example, do you enjoy being praised or having people comment on your progress? Or would you prefer they not say anything about your weight or your looks right now?

Let people know which type of comments feel good to you compared to the ones that make you feel uncomfortable. Also tell them about specific phrases that set you off. For example, maybe you don't ever want family members to ask, "Is that on your diet?" Then decide what you'd like to hear instead and let them know.

In your journal, write a list of things that people are always welcome to say or do in regard to your weight-loss efforts. Examples might include offer you compliments, protect you from dessert, or clear the table after meals.

Create another list of things you don't ever want people to do such as snatch your plate away, give you lectures, or admonish, "You're not supposed to be eating that."

Read both lists to your support people including your spouse, your children, and your best friend.

  Jenn J Replied:

Sorry I didn't post this early on Saturday. I spend Saturday and Sunday morning with my BF and go to work from his house. I don't have my computer with me at his house, so I wasn't able to post. Next week I will try to post the weekend reading on Friday's.

  Lyn💛 Replied:

  flower Replied:

  Rjaatt Replied:

JENN J... We are all just GREATFUL that you are doing this For us that don't have the Book, Days do not matter what Matters is that YOU CARE ENOUGH To help not only yourself but The StartYourDiet Members that are trying to lose weight and maintain it... Thank you for all your HARD WORK... We all APPRECIATE YOU SO MUCH......

I could put it in my journal but by writing it all here I am accountable for what I say! in my Journal I can deceive myself.. Hee hee... My Freewill can Lie to me... that would be say, here it cannot!

My mother was supportive when I look back only maybe because she wanted to lose weight so she always had me on a diet regardless for it was a Way of Life Eating to me... Salads and I still love them. YES I even make Salad Water, I love salads that much... can't live with out the flavor.

My husband (ex) was not supportive but thanks to a Member on here I have learned that my ex was doing it out of love. I look back at my daughter and in a way she tried to be supportive but she can not stay on a daily routein... When I look back she was so irrisponsible in feeding the pets and taking care of them or doing her laundry and putting them away she just left them in a basket and sad to say she is teaching her daughter this. So She is not Supportive.

Yesterday I told you about the Certificate my grandchild won and it was for a pizza, well what did they do? They got it and then PUT IT ON THE SHELF RIGHT BELOW MY SHELF! So I would have to see it when I OPEN the FRIG to get my INFUSION WASTER. Omg... All I could do was HURRY UP! and get my stuff, then put the stuff away and make sure their is no reason for the rest of the day to go into the frig... And their is NOT one reason I need to open that door again today.

Jenn, I hope you had a Amazing time with your BF and What a wonderful Weekend! You had!

  Jenn J Replied:

By doing the daily posting, it also keeps me on track for reading. If it weren't for posting each day, I'd have probably stopped again.

  Lyn💛 Replied:

Yeah, if you weren't doing this I would have quit it again. I made it through the 100 more days only because Jeanne posted every day. So thank you!

  Jenn J Replied:

While this is a valid topic, I don't typically tell people I'm on a "diet" so they really don't have any comments. I also have very few people in my life that have that kind of control these days. My BF is very supportive. He was there for me when I broke my shoulder (minor motorcycle accident) and for the surgery to fix it and the unknown torn rotator cuff. He totally supports my choices.

He knows to ask me if I want something sweet before he makes any food. He knows I'm watching my carbs and sugars.

The opinions expressed on this forum may not represent the opinions of Please consult your physician to determine the weight, nutrition and exercise levels that are best for you.