100 Days: Day 9: Here's what I want

Jenn J

Today you'll discover the secret to getting exactly what you want from all the support people in your life. But before you're able to let others know about the kind of support and encouragement you seek, you first have to decide what you want yourself.

In the quiz below, pick out the answers that fit best for you. Think carefully about your true preferences. Decide what motivates you as well as what frustrates you in your efforts. If the answers don't exactly fit for you, come up with some different ones that match your needs.

What I want from you

1. If you see me eating something that's not on my diet plan

___ Ask me, "Should you be eating that?"

___ Ignore it entirely

___ Ask me if I've had a bad day

___ Give me a hug

2. When I'm making progress, such as losing weight

___ Compliment me on how I look

___ Praise me in front of others

___ Never comment on my progress in front of others

___ Give me non-food gifts or rewards

3. When I'm struggling or gaining weight

___ Tell me you notice and really care about my struggle

___ Ignore it entirely

___ Hug me and show me extra affection

___ Ask me how you can help

4. When I'm making progress you can't see (such as improving my self-esteem)

___ Ask me how my efforts are going

___ Compliment me on how I look

___ Ignore my efforts and my changes

___ Give me non-food gifts or rewards

5. When I've maintained my weight (even though I may still want to lose more)

___ Tell me you are proud of my current efforts

___ Ignore the subject entirely

___ Ask me if I'm struggling or feeling discouraged

___ Compliment me on my looks and my efforts

Todays Tasks:

Complete this quiz, and then read your answers out loud to one of your support people such as your spouse or a good friend.

Post your answers on your refrigerator or in some other location where your support people can be reminded of what you want.

Write the most important answers in your journal for future reference.

Jenn J Replied:

I chose to put the whole reading in as it has the quiz. Post your answers or just post your thoughts.

Jenn J Replied:

1. Ask me if I have had a bad day, or I'm struggling with something. If I can talk it out, perhaps I won't eat that unnecessary food.

2. I want either to hear words of encouragement or ask if we can do something special for my success.

3. Ask me how you can help. Let me know you care by supporting me, not by criticizing my gain.

4. Ask me how things are going, if there is anything you can do to help.

5. Same as 4.

Anna Replied:

1. If you see me eating something that's not on my diet plan

___ Ignore it entirely. I know at my age that its my responsibility to eat and not to eat. If I am feeling that I need support I will say something and my family knows that is a que for a conversation.

2. When I'm making progress, such as losing weight

___ Compliment me on how I look. Just a little you look today, the walking and eating better is working!

3. When I'm struggling or gaining weight

___ Ask me how you can help ... if I open the conversation.

4. When I'm making progress you can't see (such as improving my self-esteem)

___ Ask me how my efforts are going. Mention that it looks like I am sticking to my plan to be healthier. Keep up the good work. Keep it positive.

5. When I've maintained my weight (even though I may still want to lose more)

___ Tell me you are proud of my current efforts!

Jeanne- CE! Replied:

Communication matters! I've found that most everyone really means well, without always knowing the right thing to say.

Jenn J Replied:

Jeanne, I agree. They want to be supportive, but don't know what to say that would be helpful. I think we need to engage them and talk to them about how to support us on our journey.

Diane Replied:

I know that as we have been changing our eating plan, I have been kinda defensive in my responses to why I am eating "that".

Jeanne- CE! Replied:

It's definitely harder when things are new. Personally, I struggle with perfectionism. It is mostly managed at least outwardly, but I tend to get defensive and take things personally, which has caused things to escalate many times. Awareness is so key for me; some positive reactions may not come naturally, but I can at least practice healthy responses until the healthy responses become more natural, and finally a habit.

The opinions expressed on this forum may not represent the opinions of StartYourDiet.com. Please consult your physician to determine the weight, nutrition and exercise levels that are best for you.